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An Email From Reece

23 January 2022

“Hi, I’m your cousin Reece.  I hate to tell you this over an email, but your mother has passed away.  Diane didn’t think we knew about you, but we did and we really want to meet you.” There was a lot more to this email, and I cannot believe I didn’t save it or have more photos of when we met?

I had a few email exchanges with Reece and his father, Dave before we made plans for me to come to the reserve to meet.  Although the reserve is only about 3 hours from Ottawa, I stayed in a bed and breakfast very close so I would have as much of the next day as possible with them.

I arrived at the band office, nervous, anxious and so excited.  We hugged, took some very deep looks into each other’s eyes and couldn’t believe we were all here together!  Once the ice had broken, we went into my uncle’s office.  We went into the reception area and Dave introduced me as his new favourite niece.  My heart was so full.

This is my Uncle Dave. I was so happy to meet him, but when I see this picture I realize how much of my cultural identity I have been missing. Now to make up for lost time!

As we chatted away, Dave explained the office to me.  He was surprised to discover that my kids and I had been there numerous times.   He was so shocked to think that we were just on the other side of the walls in this building and he never knew it.

Excitedly, Dave and Reece asked if I wanted to meet some more family.  No surprise here — I got behind the wheel followed them to my aunt’s house.  Inside it was full of aunts, uncles and cousins!  I cannot even explain the warmth I felt, as I am tearing up right now experiencing those feelings again.  There were so many questions, mostly them asking me.  It was funny that when I had met them, I had just come back from a lifesaving swimming competition in Germany, and they all thought that I was in the Olympics!  

It’s funny when you meet new family, you find out the smallest detail and find joy and enthusiasm in it.  Even when I used my aunt’s washroom, I found out we used the same toothpaste….it was destiny right?

Mu Aunt Linda and namesake to my sister Linda. I wonder who was my namesake when my mother was naming me?

There did come a calm when I looked over to see the one man who was clearly not a blood relative.  He made eye contact with me and came over to me.  He had tears on his eyes.  He introduced himself as Diane’s husband.  My thoughts were confused.  Wasn’t this the man who she was afraid to tell about me, in fear he would end their marriage?  He was devastated and said that he had found out Diane was afraid to tell him.  We hugged and he said he would have accepted me in a second.  He cried, saying he couldn’t believe Diane died with this burden of a lie on her conscience.

My next reveal to the family was that I used to drive all around the reserve looking at houses and wondering who was in them.  I also told them that we would spend hours looking down at Diane’s house and walk in the cemetery.  Everyone was shocked and I think it’s because we were so close and yet none of us new how to find each other.

As I drove back home, I had such a feeling of contentment after meeting everyone.  I also knew we all had so many feelings but the biggest one was the of healing.  Healing of lost time together and misconceptions of how people would react.

We have all made mistakes, errors in judgement that remain secrets.  If we cannot forgive and move forward, I think that we, personally are the ones at a loss. Whenever I am at the reserve I have lunch with Reece and we have plans to get together after all this COVID restrictions are over. What a coincidence that on the day I’m posting this blog, it’s my Uncle Dave’s birthday.

Thank you for listening.

Miigwech

9 Comments

  1. chris

    Thank you 🙏🏼

  2. Ell

    I had no idea. Thank you for sharing the blog. From a fellow Aldervillian and probably relative 😁

  3. chris

    Hi I’m glad your here and reading! How are you related to Dave and Reece?

  4. Jody Holmes

    Very touching story!

  5. chris

    Thank you Jody🙏🏼

  6. David Boyle

    I look forward to every Sunday for your post. Thank you!

  7. chris

    Thanks Dave, I love writing each week 💕

  8. Verna Beaver

    Hi Chris….What a beautiful miracle story….You are a very pretty young lady and you do resemble your mom a lot…Im a cousin as well…

  9. chris

    Hi Verna, thank you so much for your kind words… and 👋 cousin!

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