This story will tell one of the most monumental times of my life, meeting my one and only blood sister, Linda.  We are not actually twins by birth, but no one could ver question or twin like similarities! I’ve been telling the story of my family I grew up with, shared a million moments with, made memories with, shared good times and bad with.  The feeling of meeting someone who you look exactly like, sound like, have the same clicking hip with, but knowing you missed a lifetime together is so fantastic and the start of filling in some of the blanks to my life.

I was about 16 years old when my mother asked me to drop some papers off to Molly Fraser, our adoption agent, at Children’s Aid Society.  I remember sitting in the parking lot on Bank Street and holding this unsealed envelope.  Of course I opened it and read the few lines written on the paper.  I can visualize the wording but it basically was my mother allowing the release of our information to Marilyn Janssen, the mother of my blood sister.  I brought the paper work in and drove to school.  I remember sitting with a friend in the back of our high school, somewhat shell shocked, telling her that I think I have a sister!

The following timeline is a bit unclear as it all happened almost 40 years ago. I’ll start with the dinner my parents had with myself and my boyfriend. My mother pulled out this picture and asked if I recognized anyone in the photo.  I was so confused because it was me with this other family.  I was so confused when mom said this was my sister Linda.  I think mom was relieved that I finally absorbed this because she said that she had tried to tell me a few times before but I guess my brain couldn’t compute.

Within a few minutes we were all on different phones, yes land lines throughout the house, talking to Linda and her family.  Not only was I talking with my sister, she even sounded so much like me and no one could figure out which one of us were talking.  Then, very shortly after, I was on a plane out to Salmon Arm, British Columbia, to meet her.  I was so scared as this was one my first big trip alone!  I flew to Calgary, stayed overnight at my aunts and then took the train through the mountains.  I think it was about 10 hours, but by the time we got in, the media was there and half the train got off to watch us unite!

After a week of being in BC and getting to know her family, playing tricks on friends like twins would do, I wanted her to come home with me.  So I brought her home and didn’t tell anyone she was coming.  At the airport, I excitedly said to my mom, “Look what I brought home with me!”  I turned to mom and her jaw was dropped and she actually looked faint.  Needless to say, we had so much fun in Ottawa playing tricks on my family and friends as well.

Linda was also adopted into a family that was from Dawson Creek, British Columbia, but were working in Pembroke when Linda came into their lives.  Her father was a minister which is why they had moved around and had adopted 3 Indigenous children to add to their already busy family of 3 naturally born children.  It was so nice to know Linda had a life similar to mine where we had lots of siblings, but she also was not alone in her adoption journey.  

During the time that my mom and Linda’s mom were trying to find the right time to tell us about each other, Linda suffered a terrible accident where she was hit by a truck on her bicycle.  She spent time in the hospital to go through surgeries to heal her but the 2 most significant injuries were to her leg and brain.  Her injury left one leg shorter than the other which has led to many ongoing issues. Her brain injury had also left her with the loss her childhood memories.  I remember on my visit to her in BC and looking through photos and slide shows where she had pieces of memories but not full memories of her childhood

As we both got into married life, we lost touch for a while.  She did call me one night to let me know she had her son and had named him Lane.  Yet another twin thing for us, I had just had my son, Blain.  With no social media, and lots of kids and moving in both our lives we lost touch.  We actually didn’t have any contact for almost 30 years!  It was only just as I started this blog that I set out to find her on social media.  Literally within an hour we were back in full swing like we hadn’t missed a day, but sadly we missed a lifetime!

This is where adoption has a sad feeling of loss.  I am having a hard time explaining how is it that you can just lose contact and it be ok.  I was so worried about her, that she somehow led a life that I didn’t want to know because she might have been hurt.  I was scared that her memory loss and change in life circumstances had left her alone.  Maybe I didn’t want to know?  It’s crazy I felt this for so long and now know that she has been in a long term relationship, had a long career at work, 3 beautiful children and is just recently become a grandmother.

I cannot explain why I let so much time pass before reaching out?  Neither Linda or I are bitter, but maybe a little sad that we let go.  But here we are celebrating both our families and feeling the blessing of having such a unique adoption story that we value, know it cannot be replaced by any other family story.  This is our story, which I have so much more to explore and share.